Today, for the second time this month, a stranger got confused about my gender, and left me in a position in which I had to consciously think about the fact that I’m supposed to have a gender, and what that means as a result. It’s an uncomfortable subject to confront.
My relationship with my gender is full of contradictions, and the incident today felt like a prime example. I was walking out of a public bathroom, just as a woman was walking in. When she saw me she stopped, and confusion flickered across her face. She said “oh”, and began to turn around. I made a show of stepping back and gesturing to let her past, thinking I was merely in her way. She did a bit of a double-take, then saw the sign on the door – a stick man and a triangle-skirted woman superimposed on top of each other, indicating that the bathroom was mixed. She seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, and muttered “so it’s unisex”, before strolling on in. A few seconds later I realized she’d mistaken me for a guy. I immediately felt irritated, but I couldn’t figure out why.
The Truant Pen 